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Just because your partner is the one carrying the baby doesn’t mean her pregnancy has no impact on you. Whether the pregnancy has been planned for months or years, or is unexpected, you’ll probably feel a range of emotions.

A baby means new responsibilities that you may not feel ready for, whatever your age. You and the mum-to-be may have mixed feelings about the pregnancy. It’s normal for both of you to feel like this.

The first pregnancy will change your life and change can be frightening, even if it’s something you’ve been looking forward to.

You may also get depressed. Your partner is facing the biggest changes, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your own feelings. You need support too. Keep talking and listening to each other, and talk to friends.

If you feel you are depressed or anxious and need help, talk to your GP.

Help and support is available locally from the following:

Let’s Talk Service

Let’s Talk offer talking therapies to adults in Gloucestershire who are experiencing mild to moderate anxiety and/or depression. Contact them on 0800 073 2200 or use the online referral form.
www.talk2gether.nhs.uk

Dads Matter

Dads Matter an organisation who support dads worried about or suffering from anxiety, depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
http://www.dadsmatteruk.org/

Not Alone

The video below was created in partnership with Active Connections to tackle the stigma around mental health in new dads. The stories in this video are from new dads in their own words, as they share their experiences to show other men in a similar situation that you are not alone, there are people you can talk to who will understand.


Becoming a parent often puts a strain on relationships, regardless of what they were like before.

Part of the problem is that you’re tired and have so much less time to spend with your partner than you did before the baby arrived. It’s a lot harder to go out together and enjoy the things you used to do. Your partner may feel left out, and you may resent what you see as a lack of support.

If you’re having your first baby, you may feel lonely and cut off from your old life. Your partner can’t give you everything you used to get from work and friends. You need other people in your life for support, friendship and a shoulder to cry on.

For information on where to find help and advice go to the NHS website.


Sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe, unless your doctor or midwife has told you not to.

If your pregnancy is normal and you have no complications, having sex and orgasms won’t increase your risk of going into labour early or cause a miscarriage.

Your midwife or doctor will probably advise you to avoid sex if you’ve had any heavy bleeding in this pregnancy.

You’ll also be advised to avoid sex if:

  • your waters have broken
  • there are any problems with the entrance to your womb (cervix)
  • you’re having twins, or have previously had early labours, and are in the later stages of pregnancy

Read more about sex in pregnancy.


One in four women experiences domestic abuse or domestic violence at some point in their lives. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or financial, and is often a combination of these types.

Pregnancy can be a trigger for domestic abuse, and existing abuse may get worse during pregnancy or after giving birth.

Domestic abuse during pregnancy puts you and your unborn child in danger. It increases the risk of miscarriage, infection, premature birth, and injury or death to the baby.

It can also cause women to experience emotional and mental health problems, such as stress and anxiety, which can affect the development of the baby.

If your partner is violent or abusive, there are a number of places you can turn to for help and support to ensure the safety of you and your baby. The NHS website has more information on abuse in pregnancy.

Contact details for organisations who can help can be found in the Your Support section.


There are a number of maternity and paternity benefits that you may be entitled to. Take a look at some of these below, or visit the NHS website for more information.